I have pretty much decided again with my oldest alter decided to kill myself.

Similar cresant or the Hutt line –

It would have been nice to jump from similar cresant, because that is where my parents pretended to care about me.

They obviously didn’t give a shit, and I needed a lot of therapy – years ago.

I have an apoinmemt booked in for about a month and then again with an ACC psychologist.

I have only been fighting for a psychologist for fifteen years.

I’ll probably just get drunk, then sleep.

Logically I think it’s best to go backpacking – but the deep feelings of wanting to die overwhelms me.

I cannot look at a flat today

I hate no one, not even my father and I cannot believe my oldest alter told me to go and beat him up.

It’s good you did Simon – he says, but now everyone in the family hates me and everyone thinks I’m extremely violent.

I’m not violent –

I put my arm out and made a semi fist – the police think I am very violent.

She laughed as her glasses feel off

No one cares and everyone thinks I am a bad arse.

The other person who was in her room last night with her boyfriend left when I said I have police charges and I have to go to court.

I’m not going to be jailed – I think , according to my lawyer and the justice person I spoke too.

It’s not this that causes this deadly depression

100 disprins and then bourbon

I’ll sllep them die a few days after I go to similar cresant,

Everything is in the past and I want nothing

I’m have reached the end and I will be very depressed tomorrow

I cannot go and look at flats.

What’s the point of- I have bad tenancy, from being ill and my father saw it every time.

My god – he even pointed a gun at me once when I went there to make amends and wanted a bottle of whiskey to drink with him

I took the whiskey with me, then a burger was bought for me, as I had lost a lot of weight.

She drove me away from the place, then I walked back to Wellington.

I am so deeply depressed –

I do not care about myself

Well I do but I do not want to live anymore.

I’m going a the fact I’m now certain that my parents, and brother don’t care, and they thoughtbi was funny that I’m stupid –

I’m m not stupid

I’m actually gifted as all fuck and once my iq was 149

Now it’s 148 because I have somewhat recovered and I so no want to live

I cannot believe I survived the suscuide attempts

No one cares

And this translates into me actually dying

I wonder where I will die

Maybe tomorrow?

Similar cresant , but I have to get the bourbon back and it’s in cans office.

Another thing I have to do