It is like jail in here. I cannot get out of icu – I want to die but I just had lunch. Weird – maybe part of me wants to stay alive.

Tazz has given up on finding me a house

I’ll go homeless and then find a shared flat with arseholes.

Arswholes – I want to die so badly that it is not funny :

Everyone unless they know what I have been through, and there are very few of those, hates me.

My own family hate me and refuse to talk to me because I remember abuse and my brother was pretty much complicit

Why did he say move out, they might kill yiu?

I have no energy to write anymore.

Death becomes me and I am a waiting machine

I’ll get drunk then move to Tgecrailway station and take a train, walk for a bit then wait for dark and step in front of a passing train

I’m sorry to the driver but I’ve tried a few other ways and this seems certain

No doubt my family will attend my funeral and all say he used to be a nice guy

I still am just –

But I have had enough of life :

It’s constant and it never stops ‘that’s what it feels like.

I would kill for some anti depressants drudoran refuses to give them tonm

I’m sucuidal for fucks sake!